Sealed with an 'x'

In the land of the cold stare, where it takes at least three months into any interpersonal relationship to see the pasty white shell of British reserve even give hint of cracking, one would probably expect most textual exchanges to close with a curt, 'Sincerely, Mr. So-and-So.'

You'd be totally wrong, and here's why: British people of all stripes, male and female, young and old, gay and straight (and 'other', which deserves a whole post of its own), tall and short, etc. etc. love ending text messages, facebook messages, and basically any other short correspondence with a sultry 'x' or even a whole string of them at a time. Upon first encountering this during my last stint in the Kingdom, I kind of figured it was mostly a girl phenomenon. Mostly because I was texting and receiving messages primarily from female friends, not because I have no male ones, but that was just how it went. This time around, I realized that men did it too. Shocker: men x'd other men!

No, this wasn't some weird revelatory moment such as many youngsters might have when they kind of hope Holden Caulfield had gone on smooching his teacher at least a little longer or less horrified-ly, or realizing they enjoy 'Men's Health' magazine not only because it gives great tips on how to achieve your optimal physique. Mostly, to me it just seemed a fairly intimate way of ending a text message with your 'mate' to arrange a trip to the pub. I can't say I like hugging most friends, so to end a communique with an even textual kiss seemed a bit much.

At first I thought, maybe it's a gay thing, but I asked around, and apparently even a good number of otherwise 'blokey' straight men will end texts to each other with an 'x'. The same straight-male-British friend I asked for confirmation explained it this way:

We find it a way to express affection without compromising our British sense of reserve. It allows us to show a feeling without all the unpleasantness that might come with an awkwardly forced (or one-sided) hug, or other real-life show of emotion.

This seems as good an explanation as any; generations of repressing outward signs of affection, at least in most situations, begins to leak out in text messages and other less personal and thus safer modes of communication. Rather than having to get pant-wettingly drunk before expressing affection (And by the way, what's up with straight guys groping their friends once they have a few drinks in them, Britain? Something to explore another day, I think!), one need only pick up one's mobile and let your thumb speak volumes of unspoken softness of heart with a solitary virtual kiss.

x

Keep your eyes peeled, as this post has got me thinking about the next one, an examination of the relatively more flexible gender norms, especially for men, in modern Britannia.